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We often tell our clients, who are in the midst of a divorce proceeding, to act as though your entire life is on camera 24 hours a day, 7 days a week; or to say more simply, “live your life as if you are a star in a reality television show.” This advice should apply even in the most amicable of dissolution proceedings, because you never know when things will change and emotions will escalate.
Anything and everything a divorce client does could potentially come across a Judge’s pair of eyes. Irrespective of whether or not a particular piece of evidence is relevant, that piece will nevertheless leave an imprint. For example, elicit photographs pulled from Facebook showing a spouse intoxicated and irresponsible could support allegations that this spouse is an unfit parent. Most folks would presume that this is common sense and that may be true. Certainly, this lesson should be easily digested and practiced since reality television, and in particular, shows such as The Bachelor (and its counterpart, The Bachelorette), Bethany and The Real Housewives series are ever popular and wide-stream. Most of these shows portray individuals negatively reacting to some of their most compromising situations, or participating in “extra curricular activities”, which they have likely regretted after it was made public.
But shouldn’t this advice also apply to spouses who are not yet facing a divorce. Even with the ongoing presence of reality television, many people still do not realize that their actions today, even with a marriage that is intact, might harm them in the future if their differences with their spouses become irreconcilable.
“Family Planning” is a term common to most Family Law practitioners. However, it is a term most commonly used to describe one spouse’s financial plan to make certain decisions regarding their marital net worth in anticipation that their marriage is likely to dissolve. While no one wants to anticipate an end to their marital relationship, perhaps it is wise for the Family Planning term to also encompass a person’s careful decision making process to avoid situations where their spouse might have an opportunity to use the same against them in the future should the unfortunate event of a divorce become a “reality.”