In a column published on 11/27 in the Daily Business Review, family law attorney Rebecca Palmer writes that Thanksgiving may be difficult for divorced or separated parents, who will want to give their children the best holiday possible. Palmer advises alternating which parent the child will celebrate with each year—or, if splitting the day becomes absolutely essential, dividing it up equally among two households. Using apps like Cozi Family Organizer, AppClose, or Google Calendar can help parents manage their child’s schedule, avoid misunderstandings, and reduce the need for frequent in-person meet-ups, which is helpful, especially in strained relationships.

“Clear communication is a crucial tactic for making holiday planning smoother for co-parents,” Palmer writes. “Whatever arrangement you reach, documenting the agreement ensures clarity, and it can be formalized by a lawyer or in the divorce decree to avoid future disputes if necessary.”

If an agreement about how to divide the Thanksgiving holiday cannot be reached amicably, Palmer advises getting a neutral mediator involved. Mediators will focus on the child’s best interests above all other concerns, and they can help bring down the temperature in what can often be difficult conversations if the co-parents no longer get along. This option is also much cheaper than going to court to resolve such differences.

“Above all, co-parenting during the holidays should focus on the child’s happiness and well-being, showing children that, despite living apart, their parents remain committed to creating a positive and memorable holiday experience,” says Palmer. “The ultimate goal is having Thanksgiving remain a cherished time for everyone—one that honors family bonds and doesn’t leave you feeling like a turkey.”

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