My beloved dog, Zoe, has passed away. She was 15 and had been battling cancer, undergoing chemotherapy twice a week and acupuncture sessions to ease her suffering. Despite all my preparations for the inevitable, her passing has left a hole in my heart that feels impossible to fill. Zoe was more than a pet; she was family, my constant companion through life’s ups and downs. Losing her has been devastating, but I can’t help but think how much harder this would have been if I had been going through a divorce at the same time. Throughout my career as a family and marital law attorney, I have seen people lose financial security, homes, and shared assets—but the loss of a cherished pet during a divorce can cut even more profoundly. When everything else in life feels uncertain, pets provide stability and unconditional love. Saying goodbye to them while navigating a separation’s emotional and legal complexities can make an already painful process unbearable.
During Zoe’s final days, my family came together to support Zoe and help make collective decisions about her care to ensure her last moments were as peaceful as possible. This type of family teamwork may not always be feasible for divorcing or divorced couples who no longer spend the same time with the pet, making an already painful process even harder. When emotions are raw and communication is strained, it can be challenging to coordinate decisions about a shared pet’s end-of-life care. A pet care agreement is one way to ensure the pet’s care throughout its life and in a divorce. This provision can be included in a prenup or postnup and should outline financial responsibilities, time commitments, and how disagreements will be resolved. Pet agreements have become so popular that Rover.com has created a “PrePup” checklist to help couples enter into a comprehensive and mutually beneficial agreement. In Florida, pets are considered property, so the courts see them as assets subject to equitable distribution. It’s crucial to outline your mutual wishes for your pet to keep divorce-related tensions from derailing them.
Mediation with a neutral third party for your separation, including your pet agreement, may be a viable solution for couples who struggle to communicate civilly and productively but do not want to go to court. A mediator can help outline responsibilities, financial commitments, and decision-making processes regarding the pet’s health and future care. Ideally, these discussions would happen when the animal is young and your relationship is on solid ground, before the pet reaches old age or develops health issues. When a pet’s condition declines, especially during a separation, emotions run high, making it even more challenging to reach fair and compassionate decisions. Your pet cannot advocate for itself, so it is in the animal’s best interest to agree on an animal care plan until the end, in case you ever need it.
As part of the agreement, there should be provisions to engage an experienced and compassionate vet when it is time. In my case, I was fortunate to lean on Paws Calls, a compassionate Orlando-area mobile end-of-life veterinary service, who guided me through Zoe’s final moments. Their support, part therapist and part pet death doula, helped ease some of the stress and anxiety, allowing me to focus on being there for Zoe and the joy of loving her. Unfortunately, many pets do not receive the care they deserve when their owners separate after a divorce. When kids are involved, it becomes more complex with the emotions of not having a parent and beloved pet around all the time. When arranging shared time, it is similarly important to consider the stress frequent transitions can have on the pet, particularly if it is older or in poor health. Having a trusted vet help with the process is beneficial and can help navigate the care your pet needs when they are healthy and heading toward the rainbow bridge.
Research conducted by the Human Animal Bond Research Institute (HABRI) supports that pet ownership and human-animal interaction help improve social connections and decrease loneliness, but you don’t need a national survey to prove that; ask someone walking a dog in a park. Even with all the fantastic memories, the aftermath of losing a pet is tough. Pets are more than just animals; they are family members who offer unconditional love and companionship. When a pet passes, especially one that has been a constant source of comfort through a tumultuous period like a divorce, the sense of loss can be gut-wrenching.
Loss, whether it’s the death of a beloved pet or the end of a marriage, is never easy. Losing Zoe has been one of the most challenging experiences of my life. I find solace in knowing that my family and I did everything we could to make her last days comfortable and filled with love. Remember, you are not alone in times of sadness and stress. Seek support from a compassionate vet, supportive friends, or a knowledgeable lawyer, and honor your pet’s memory by giving them the love and care they deserve until the very end. And if all else fails, do what Zoe would have done: take a deep breath, enjoy a good meal, and unapologetically claim the best spot on the couch.
Rebecca L. Palmer, Esq. is a Family & Marital Law attorney practicing in Orlando, FL. She may be reached at rebecca@rlplawgroup.com.
